Bikers and PoZeRz

Stolen from another site, entertaining....I edited out the retarded ones....

You know you're a biker if...

- Your wife has ever asked you to move the bike so she could see the TV better.
- You have ever had to borrow a helmet for your date.
- Your best friends are named after reptiles.
- You own more black T-shirts then underwear.
- Taking your wife on a cruise means a putt down the interstate.
- Your only three piece suit is a leather jacket, leather vest and chaps.
- Your ol' lady can only eat a hot dog if it's suspended from a string above your bike.
- You buy your 3-year old niece a Harley Davidson t-shirt.
- You can identify bugs by taste.
- You think GOD invented winter just as a good time to get your bike painted.
- People know your a biker even when you don't want them to.
- People have nearly died of starvation looking at all of your bike/run pictures.
- Over half the pictures you take have your bike in it.
- You stare longer at the pictures of the bikes in Easyriders than the naked women.
- The weather is too bad for riding and you start your bike and sit on it in the garage.
- You get hit by a car, break your leg, then tell the nice police officer, "I'm fine I can ride home".
- You see no use in going to a bar without bikes in front.
- You have a refrigerator in the garage just for beer.
- You pile boxes and laundry on your car, but your bike must have 6 feet or clearance in the garage.
- When you plan a vacation you set up time to visit the bike shops first.
- You refer to your bike as if it had a legal first name
- You have a heater in your garage so you can work on your bike(s) when it's cold.
- Your Christmas list has no words, just part numbers.
- Every magazine you subscribe to has the word "Biker" on it somewhere.
- One area of your house (other then the garage) is decorated in a motorcycle motif.
- Every time you spend money, you think about what you coulda bought for your bike.
- You think 'Helmet Hair' is a fashion statement.
- You encourage your kids to go to the Motorcycle Mechanic's Institute instead of college.
- Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
- You fainted when you met Willie G.
- Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
- You have at least one ashtray which is actually a motorcycle part.
- When she says "It's the bike or me!!" you have to think about it really hard.
- You spend more time polishing your bike than caressing your woman
- You have more locks on your bike than you do your house.
- Anyone who doesn't ride is just 'ok'.
- You can think of at least ten things we forgot on this page.

And we know you're a poser if...

- You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
- You spend more time shining your bike than riding it.
- You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you.
- You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady.
- You take your bike into the shop for oil changes.
- Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding.
- You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte.
- You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself.
- Your saddle bags say "Gucci".
- You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.
- Your tattoos wash off.
- You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home.
- You won't ride down a gravel road.
- You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels.
- You only ride on weekends, when you can.
- You never ride to work.
- All your leathers match.
- There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers.
- You don't own a rain suit.
- You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable.
- You've never had to replace a worn out tire.
- You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn.
- You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection.
- You ride a Ducati.
- Your longest road trip this year was to Hooter's for bike night.